"Let us trim our hair in accordance with socialist lifestyle"

This is at once hilarious and utterly frightening.

Think about it for a second. What must it be like to live in such a society? Your one overriding emotion would be constant fear. Over your haircut and shoes.

"The programme allowed men aged over 50 seven centimetres of upper hair to cover balding." Got that? Only 7 cm. Not 8 cm. At 8 cm, you're obviously a capitalist roader and an enemy of the people.

Scary stuff.