D&D Vulcans

As I was reading Vulcans, I got to thinking about what this crew would look like if they were D&D characters. It turns out they actually make a pretty kick-ass party. You got two fighters, two mages, a cleric, and a monk.

(Note to all geeks: It has been 20 years since I played pen-and-paper D&D, and I'm not familiar with the new rules. For instance, I've kept the old armor class style because I don't understand how to calculate the new one, and frankly, it's a little too much trouble for this whimsical exercise. Feel free to leave comments with suggestions or corrections.)

Richard Armitage, paladin, chaotic-good:

Strength: 18/75
Dexterity: 15
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 13
Charisma: 9
Constitution: 16

AC -2
HP 100
Skills: Climb, Diplomacy, Intimidate, Jump, Survival, Swim
Weapon: Two-handed sword (+3 versus halflings), Ring of Frost Giant Strength
Favorite spells: Dispel Evil, Discern Lies, Bull's Strength,

Donald Rumsfeld, mage/assassin, chaotic-good:

Strength: 15
Dexterity: 15
Intelligence: 17
Wisdom: 14
Charisma: 12
Constitution: 14

AC 1
HP 76
Skills: Bluff, Craft, Intimidate, Sleight of Hand
Weapon: +3 Staff of Smiting (target must save versus paralysis)
Favorite spells: Bigby's Crushing Hand, Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting, Freedom, Imprisonment, Power Word Stun, Domination, Scare, Taunt

Dick Cheney, cleric, lawful good

Strength: 16
Dexterity: 12
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 17
Charisma: 8
Constitution: 10

AC 4
HP 43
Skills: Appraise, Hide, Move Silently, Survival
Weapon: Mace of crushing (+2 crushing damage)
Favorite spells: Health blessing, Preservation, Group Mind, Leadership, Defensive Harmony, Feign Death, Frisky Chest

Colin Powell, ranger, lawful good

Strength: 15
Dexterity: 13
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 17
Charisma: 16
Constitution: 15

AC 0
HP 92
Skills: Balance, Diplomacy, Listen
Weapon: +3 Long bow of Righteous Might

Paul Wolfowitz, druid, lawful good

Strength: 9
Dexterity: 15
Intelligence: 19
Wisdom: 15
Charisma: 10
Constitution: 10

AC 8
HP 37
Skills: Gather Information, Sense Motive
Weapon: Dart
Favorite spells: Foresight, Word of Recall, True Seeing, Greater Scrying, Find the Path, Awaken, Know Direction

Condoleezza Rice, lawful good, monk

Strength: 12
Dexterity: 18
Intelligence: 17
Wisdom: 17
Charisma: 16
Constitution: 12

AC 4
HP 50
Skills: Balance, Concentration, Decipher Script, Diplomacy,
Weapons: Sling of Victory (+5 versus dragons and giants)