Five Cars I Should Hate But Actually Love
Okay, last week I brought you my automotive shitlist, a collection of craptacular cars that should never have rolled off the assembly line.
Now I present to you the flip side of that coin -- cars that are reviled by the general population, but which I actually think are kinda cool. It's a list informed by a white trash aesthetic that esteems the boy racer above the automotive sophisticate and likes cars of any color as long as they're red, white and blue.
5. Honda Element. Last week I heaped scorn on the Element's scrawny distant relative, the Scion xB. The two cars are an example of automotive parallel evolution, since different corporate DNA somehow led to similar boxy shapes. But while the xB looks like it should come in a six-pack, the Element possesses a cutesy Tonka Toy charm tinged with an endearing pugnaciousness. When I was shopping for a Jeep Liberty a few months ago, I also had my eye on the Element as a potential alternative as the family hauler.
4. Dodge SRT-4. You don't get much more ridiculous than turbocharging a Neon and tricking it out with Viper seats and a rear wing big enough to lift a 747. But the results speak for themselves: 230 horses that squirt the little Jolly Rancher of a car to 0-60 in just over 5 seconds. Throw another grand or two at one of the boost packages, and voila, you have a speed demon fully capable of taking on a Mustang, Camaro or WRX. The cherry on top is the sticker of of just $20,000. I love it.
3. Hummer H2. The anti-Prius if there ever was one. You read last week that I hate the Prius, but entirely for its styling and performance mis-cues rather than for its tree-hugging tech per se. After 9 years in one of the most polluted countries on the planet, I'm all for products that make our air cleaner, our water purer, and our trees greener. Still, I have to admit I pop a little woody each time I see an H2 rumble by. But get out my face with the spinner rims, chromed grills and all that. What I dig is the vehicle's burly stance, underpinned by a drivetrain and suspension that are among the best in class.
2. Pontiac Grand Prix. The white trash cousin of the GTO, the Grand Prix is often overlooked and underestimated. Check it: the GXP option's 5.3-liter V8 pumps out a more-than-respectable 303 ponies. But what's really cool is the twist figure: 323 ft-lbs of torque. That means a GXP -- hardly a svelte little sports car -- will actually beat a Honda S2000 off the line, and runs just a hair behind it in the 0-60 scoot (5.7 vs 5.6 seconds).
1. Monte Carlo SS. The Monte Carlo is arguably the ultimate redneck ride thanks to its unabashed NASCAR ties. They used to offer a Dale Earnhart model in black with the number "3" emblazoned all over it, for chrissakes. GM stuffs the same V8 found in the above-mentioned Grand Prix into the SS, but the SS's lighter body gives it a more favorable power-weight ratio, meaning it blasts to 60 mph in just 5.4 seconds. Folks, this is territory that a few years ago was the exclusive realm of Camaros, Mustangs and Z cars. I seriously considered buying a Monte Carlo about 5 years ago, and even went as far as to test drive an SS. It was a surprisingly sweet ride, with spacious, comfortable seats, swoopy styling, and a feeling of speed that was imparted even by the 240-HP supercharged V6 that is relatively wimpy by today's standards.
How about y'all? Any scandalous automotive loves?
Now I present to you the flip side of that coin -- cars that are reviled by the general population, but which I actually think are kinda cool. It's a list informed by a white trash aesthetic that esteems the boy racer above the automotive sophisticate and likes cars of any color as long as they're red, white and blue.
5. Honda Element. Last week I heaped scorn on the Element's scrawny distant relative, the Scion xB. The two cars are an example of automotive parallel evolution, since different corporate DNA somehow led to similar boxy shapes. But while the xB looks like it should come in a six-pack, the Element possesses a cutesy Tonka Toy charm tinged with an endearing pugnaciousness. When I was shopping for a Jeep Liberty a few months ago, I also had my eye on the Element as a potential alternative as the family hauler.
4. Dodge SRT-4. You don't get much more ridiculous than turbocharging a Neon and tricking it out with Viper seats and a rear wing big enough to lift a 747. But the results speak for themselves: 230 horses that squirt the little Jolly Rancher of a car to 0-60 in just over 5 seconds. Throw another grand or two at one of the boost packages, and voila, you have a speed demon fully capable of taking on a Mustang, Camaro or WRX. The cherry on top is the sticker of of just $20,000. I love it.
3. Hummer H2. The anti-Prius if there ever was one. You read last week that I hate the Prius, but entirely for its styling and performance mis-cues rather than for its tree-hugging tech per se. After 9 years in one of the most polluted countries on the planet, I'm all for products that make our air cleaner, our water purer, and our trees greener. Still, I have to admit I pop a little woody each time I see an H2 rumble by. But get out my face with the spinner rims, chromed grills and all that. What I dig is the vehicle's burly stance, underpinned by a drivetrain and suspension that are among the best in class.
2. Pontiac Grand Prix. The white trash cousin of the GTO, the Grand Prix is often overlooked and underestimated. Check it: the GXP option's 5.3-liter V8 pumps out a more-than-respectable 303 ponies. But what's really cool is the twist figure: 323 ft-lbs of torque. That means a GXP -- hardly a svelte little sports car -- will actually beat a Honda S2000 off the line, and runs just a hair behind it in the 0-60 scoot (5.7 vs 5.6 seconds).
1. Monte Carlo SS. The Monte Carlo is arguably the ultimate redneck ride thanks to its unabashed NASCAR ties. They used to offer a Dale Earnhart model in black with the number "3" emblazoned all over it, for chrissakes. GM stuffs the same V8 found in the above-mentioned Grand Prix into the SS, but the SS's lighter body gives it a more favorable power-weight ratio, meaning it blasts to 60 mph in just 5.4 seconds. Folks, this is territory that a few years ago was the exclusive realm of Camaros, Mustangs and Z cars. I seriously considered buying a Monte Carlo about 5 years ago, and even went as far as to test drive an SS. It was a surprisingly sweet ride, with spacious, comfortable seats, swoopy styling, and a feeling of speed that was imparted even by the 240-HP supercharged V6 that is relatively wimpy by today's standards.
How about y'all? Any scandalous automotive loves?
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