The Legend of Hogzilla
UPDATE: Oh man, I forgot again to give props to J-Dogg, without whom this blog would be an even bigger pile of shite than it is. 'Twas the J-man what shot me the NY Times link about Hogzilla in the first place. I gotta remember to give credit where credit is due. Boy, blogging sure is hard!
The New York Times has a nice little piece up about Hogzilla, the massive feral porker claimed to have been shot in rural Georgia about a year ago.
Apparently the National Geographic Channel had a team of experts exhume 'Zilla's outsized corpse to determine if he was as big as local legend claims. The results will be aired this Sunday in a television spectacular sure to be rivaled only by Geraldo Rivera's opening of Al Capone's secret vaults.
My favorite passage is this:
As he proved by his actions that day. This guy sees a half-ton hog ambling around the farm, and his first instinct is to grab his rifle (conveniently at hand in his truck!) and shoot it. He also apparently had a backhoe readily available to drag it out.
Hogzilla is so popular he has eclipsed the town's previous legend, a peg-legged bigfoot.
Let me repeat that.
A peg-legged bigfoot.
Only in 'Merca.
Actually, if he were a real Sasquatch-American, he'd sue the state for workers' comp and insist on disabled access routes through all the forests.
The New York Times has a nice little piece up about Hogzilla, the massive feral porker claimed to have been shot in rural Georgia about a year ago.
Apparently the National Geographic Channel had a team of experts exhume 'Zilla's outsized corpse to determine if he was as big as local legend claims. The results will be aired this Sunday in a television spectacular sure to be rivaled only by Geraldo Rivera's opening of Al Capone's secret vaults.
My favorite passage is this:
Drinking a mixture of Fanta Cherry and Pibb Extreme on his lunch break, Mr. Griffin, 32, told the story he has told a thousand times: He was picking up after hunters when he saw the hog. He grabbed a rifle from his truck and fired. "I shot him, and he turned around and walked off, and I thought, how'd I miss something that big?" Mr. Griffin said. He said he followed the hog into the swamps, where it collapsed and died. Mr. Griffin said he managed to drag it out with a backhoe.That's just amazing. I had absolutely no idea they made cherry Fanta, much less "Pibb Extreme". I mean, Dr. Pibb is already an extreme beverage, not one meant for consumption by those with faint digestive tracts. But Pibb Extreme? Mixed with Fanta Cherry? This guy means business.
As he proved by his actions that day. This guy sees a half-ton hog ambling around the farm, and his first instinct is to grab his rifle (conveniently at hand in his truck!) and shoot it. He also apparently had a backhoe readily available to drag it out.
Hogzilla is so popular he has eclipsed the town's previous legend, a peg-legged bigfoot.
Let me repeat that.
A peg-legged bigfoot.
Only in 'Merca.
Actually, if he were a real Sasquatch-American, he'd sue the state for workers' comp and insist on disabled access routes through all the forests.
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