Tuesday, March 22, 2005

A new hero

The wife and I tried watching "Million Dollar Baby" two nights ago. She fell asleep. Last night, we tried watching "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow". About 30 minutes in, we looked at each other, shrugged, and turned it off. Neither an Oscar-winning drama or this swashbuckling extravaganza could hold our attention.

But I'll tell you what did.

Spongebob Squarepants. Or, as my son has been calling him, "Punjab Scorpion". Hey, that kind of sounds like a pro wrestler: "And now ladies and gentlemen, facing The Rock for the first time, the Raja of Ripped, the Sultan of Sting, the Nabob of Nasty! The Punjab Scorpion!

Ahem. Right. Anyway, Spongebob rocks. I picked up the movie for my son on a whim, not really knowing what to expect. Spongebob is said to have a certain crossover appeal to adults, but his draw isn't in the refined humor of Pixar, with grown-up jokes slipped in amid the kiddie fare. Spongebob is simply so joyously ridiculous that it ends up being charming, even to adults.

Spongebob is also not glossy and cuddly like Nemo or whomever. Spongebob is a sponge. He has buck teeth and freckles. He wears athletic socks with what appear to be orthopedic shoes.

Sometimes the movie is pretty gross. In one alarming scene, a character's eyes melt out (to be magically restored in the next instant). In another instance, Spongebob and a friend take turn blasting tears out of their eyes into the other's mouth. In one hilarious sequence, Spongebob gets smashed on about half a dozen mega ice cream sundaes. The next morning, he looks like yesterday's bait.

Oh, and David Hasselhoff makes a cameo near the end that some people found creepy but that struck me as utterly hilarious. It was probably a little of both, but makes the movie well worth sticking through. Later, when Spongebob confronts the bad guy, he runs through a list of his accomplishments, including the boast: "I rode the Hasselhoff!"

The movie ends with an unexpectedly funny '80s-style rock video, with Spongebob cranking out some guitar licks as he saves the day. It's actually a catchy little number that is convincing in its over-the-top guitar god riffing.

I got the feeling Spongebob really came from the heart of his creator. You watch some of these kids' shows, like the Teletubbies or whatever, and sometimes they just seem to be trying too hard. "C'mon kids, isn't this great?!? We have big cuddly colorful androgynous things bouncing across your screen!" It seems so manufactured. But somehow, with his retro 2-D animation, squeaky voice, red tie and brown pants, Spongebob Squarepants is just real.