Stupid awards

The World Stupidity Awards sound pretty dumb.

Of course, they think they are being outrageously clever by -- get this -- poking fun at President Bush!!!

I mean, that is so original! You know, I don't think anyone has ever taken a look at how dumb Dubya really is. I mean, look at that guy. He just looks dumb. And have you ever heard him speak? Total mouthbreather if you ask me. Boy, I'm glad that someone, somewhere finally had the wit and courage -- yes, courage -- to mine this rich vein of comedic ore.

But Prime Minister Paul Martin has already been outshone by President George W. Bush, who is nominated in three categories - stupidest man of the year, stupidest statement of the year, and stupidity award for reckless endangerment of the planet. Martin didn't get nominated for anything.

Bush dominated last year's awards, taking the stupidest man prize and the award for reckless endangerment of the planet. Nerenberg admitted the organizers do limit the number of categories featuring the controversial Texan.

"He would essentially be nominated in every category had we not interfered," Nerenberg said. "We want to give other people a chance. We just feel some of the other great stupidity in the world would go unrecognized if Mr. Bush was allowed to run rampant. But he is doing very well."

In a half-hearted attempt at fairness, they did also nominate John Kerry. But he is distinguished only by his connection to Bush:

Black said Kerry was a natural for nomination.

"He should be. What are the chances of finding someone who could actually lose to Bush? I mean, you almost had to search. The Democratic party should have been nominated too."

And how's this for PC kowtowing:

Stupidest Trend of the Year: Religious Fundamentalism of all kinds

Get it? It's not just Islamic fundamentalism. Christian fundies, Jewish fundies and Buddhist fundies are all equally bad! Really, what's the difference between this and this?

For the record, I favor of abortion rights, though late-term procedures make me squeamish. But the Stupid Awards couldn't just single out, say, the most murderous brand of fundamentalism, could they? That wouldn't be fair, would it? One type of fundamentalism is no worse than another.

Well, at least the award producers had the decency to nominate themselves for Stupidest Award Show of the Year.