"Lay-zer"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Wicked Lasers.

Whatever you do, don't call 'em "laser pointers":

Let's get something straight, you’ve come to the wrong place if you are looking for a laser pointer. We do not sell laser pointers. Wicked Lasers can burn, slash, melt plastic and when your lighter runs dry, it’ll even light up your smoke. This is a joke right? Well you can see here. Have you seen videos like that anywhere else? Didn’t think so. Can your laser pointer do that? Didn’t think so.

Man, if I'd had one of these as a kid, the local seeing-eye dog outfit would have run a booming business.